On the drive home, Josh said...

Tonight, on the way home from my parents' house, it was just Josh and Eliza and me in the car, which meant I got to be privy to all the imaginings that usually go on between Josh and Sam.  Here are a few excerpts of our conversation -- just what I could remember once we got home:
 
Josh: “Hurry, Mom, hurry! There’s a bad guy car following us!”
Me: “Oh no, what should I do?”
Josh: “Go as fast as you can…. Oh, no, he just ignored the red light!!!”
…
Josh: “Good thing I just switched on the FIVE rockets I put on the back of our car!”
Me: “Oh, good! Now we can go really fast!”
Josh: “Oh, no! The bad guys have EIGHT rockets on their cars!”
Me: “What should we do?!”
Josh: “If our car had wings, then we could fly, but they got hit off yesterday…”
Me: “Darn it.”
Josh: “Yeah, I tried to put them back on yesterday, but it didn’t work. I tried the first time, and it didn’t work. I tried again and it didn’t work. I tried AGAIN with duck tape and it worked a little bit, but then a mean car came up and bumped them off!”
…
Josh: “Actually, that was just a dream I was having. The dreams where I am the bad guy are pretty much my favorite… Did you know I make a list of my okay dreams and my nightmares? That way I can keep track of my dreams…”
…
Me: “Why do you think they call it duck tape?”
Josh: “Well, actually… I don’t really know… but maybe if it was made from cows they would call it cow tape. And then they could make some from sheep and call it sheep tape…”
…
Josh: “Did you know that watching Netflix movies calms me down when I’m mad?”
Me: “Well, it is nice to have something to distract you when you’re mad, huh…”
Josh: “Playing the Wii and watching Netflix is my favorite thing in the world! Even more than playing with Olivia!”
Me: “Oh, that’s not good! People are way more important than watching TV or playing video games.”
Josh: “Actually, Mom, it’s the other way around.”